I read a book a few years ago called The Artist's Way, a curriculum designed to help blocked artists wake back up and be able to create again. I picked it up after a nudge from a good friend who knew I loved art and saw it as a spiritual process. The author, Julie Cameron, so well articulates the innate human desire to create, as well as the human tendency to fear poor performance. In our fear we become frozen, robotic in our production of art or entirely losing our ability t

I am regularly impressed with the humility of clients who walk in my door. To go to counseling is to admit to your own ego that you don't have it all together, and then to bravely confess that disappointment out loud to another human being. Everyone should go to counseling. For at least six months of your life, face yourself so directly that you're willing to examine what's working and what's not, with a companion trained to support you from a differentiated position. Put on

I recently moved for the thirteenth time in my life. I had plenty of help, but this means I have physically touched every single piece of my property in the last month. That's a lot of things. Moving has reminded me that without intention I can easily become a mild hoarder and too sentimental. I can have a scarcity mentality and look at such a long-term picture of my life, you'd think I was a prepper too. But being in this new space has made me remember how much happier I am

There are two things that define the effects of trauma: A lack of consent Insufficient support Therefore, healing requires: The opportunity to consent Sufficient support Consent As a kid, one of the most motivating factors for me was remaining in control of myself. I couldn't have named this then, but if I felt forced to do something, I was not going to do it. It didn't matter if the opportunity was going to Disney World or raiding a candy shop. If you were going to try to ma

Disagreeing with you does not make a person toxic. Having a bad day does not make a person toxic. Being ignorant does not make a person toxic. Destroying others' lives is what makes you a toxic person. Toxic is the word we use to describe any environment that is more destructive than productive. You also might consider those environments poisonous or harmful. People and relationships can both be toxic. A person who is regularly harmful to others is toxic. A relationship can b

I have been loving the attention on the World Cup lately: all the enthusiastic fans, the cross-cultural support, the celebration antics. Anything that reminds us that the whole world is full of relatable humans, rather than objects to control or enemies to battle helps us all relax a little. There's so much goodwill going on. Not that I love the ticket prices for the World Cup. In fact, I'm confused as to who is actually able to purchase them. It's surely not the down and out

For most of my life I have been a learner. I like to know why things happen the way they do. I have a lot of questions and I don't make up my mind quickly on things. I dig deep, ask around, do my research, then decide which side of the fence I want to be on. One of the downsides to being such a careful committer to things is that once I commit I rarely go back. For a long time, out of pride, I thought I couldn't go back on things I decided to believe. I'm one of the most rat

Over Thanksgiving my daughter and I took a trip to Hobby Lobby to snag a few bangles and bobbles to decorate my house for Christmas. The pizazz was a bit overwhelming, but fun nonetheless. One-thousand smells, two-thousand sparkling lights and three-thousand ornaments. My last grab was a new Christmas tree stand, which I snagged without much thinking. It was the only one on the shelf. At the register my bill was twice as much as I expected, making me gawk at the reciept as I

I have witnessed many humans traversing through life with a solid dead stare. The hurts, habits, and hangups have all become too much, so they've numbed and settled into the routine swell of solemn slavery. Whatever it is, they feel like they have to keep going. I don't want to disrespect this type of stability. It is certainly valuable to trudge through what must be endured. But let's be clear that there is another way to live. The other path perhaps feels sadder, because i

This question is wildly so much harder than it seems. Many clients come into the counseling office because something is off in their life. They're unhappy, they're frustrated, they're overwhelmed. But when I ask them what they hoping to get out of the experience, sometimes it's very hard for them to tell me. What do you want? Being disgruntled is a great place to start. Knowing what you don't want is better than knowing nothing at all. But the harder question will always b

I spent most of today stripping stain and varnish off a bed frame gifted to me by my aunt. I don't know what I'm doing. I watched a few YouTube videos, called a few experienced friends and borrowed a workspace and an orbital sander from a neighbor. I sent update pics to a few of my fans who cheered me on. I am learning as I go, failing and trying again. It's slow progress, but I am having a wonderful time. You could say that I spent most of my day alone, but it didn't feel li

America loves to overwork. America praises those who worship the grind, pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, and never settle for good enough. I see it every day on billboards, watch it on social media, hear it from talking heads, and feel it in cultural undertones. Sometimes we do it because we want to. Sometimes we do it because we think we have to. I get ahead by my own two hands. I can't stop or else I'll fall behind. If I don't keep working, what will I have? And

write to think think to speak speak to feel Everyone works differently. For most of my life I have needed to put words onto paper in...

Art? Religion? Philosophy? Science? The artists and the religious are fantastical. What is faith but a dedicated hope? The imagination,...

Sometimes I need to just sit and stare at the wall. I have been jumping from task to task for so long that all the thoughts in my head...

"I just like to do nice things for people," she said. "I want them to feel like we have a bond and we can have fun together." Spending...

Over the past couple of months a lot has been changing in my life. In fact, almost everything has changed. My schedule, my family, my...

Last week I spent some time in Colorado visiting a friend. While I was there I took some time to adventure out on my own, just looking...

Being able to operate one-hundred percent freely is a privledge of only well-cared for children. When your parents have done a good job...

Walking with a lot of clients through dating, I have watched an interesting transformation happen. Clients longing to connect often first...