Patriarchy is the term referred to colloquially as the system that values some over others. It's the system that gives power (and more money) to those with the most money. It expects some to work a little, while requiring others to work the skin off their own fingers. It's the system that says some voices are more important than other voices. It's not men. It's more like "the man." Patriarchy affects everyone. For those at the bottom it's oppressive and frustrating, demeani

Unfortunately accountability is a low value in the culture I live in. More likely we value a false sense of peace, maintaining the status quo and power structures, and southern charm. Which means when trouble arrises (e.g. offensive behavior, unethical treatment of others, subtle isms) we are more likely to look the other way, laugh uncomfortably, or swallow and move on. What we have failed to recognize is that bad behavior is like cancer. Without treatment, it poisons the wh

I have witnessed many humans traversing through life with a solid dead stare. The hurts, habits, and hangups have all become too much, so they've numbed and settled into the routine swell of solemn slavery. Whatever it is, they feel like they have to keep going. I don't want to disrespect this type of stability. It is certainly valuable to trudge through what must be endured. But let's be clear that there is another way to live. The other path perhaps feels sadder, because i

This question is wildly so much harder than it seems. Many clients come into the counseling office because something is off in their life. They're unhappy, they're frustrated, they're overwhelmed. But when I ask them what they hoping to get out of the experience, sometimes it's very hard for them to tell me. What do you want? Being disgruntled is a great place to start. Knowing what you don't want is better than knowing nothing at all. But the harder question will always b

Want to build a healthy relationship long-term? A friend asked recently for a sort of monthly check-in that might be valuable in intentionally building a healthy long-term romantic relationship. This blog is my response to her. I have written a similar free guide on a weekly marriage "staff meeting" that you can find in the resources here if you want to practice some regular intentional marriage care. When you’re ready to start dating, you’re only at the beginning of a proc