Unfortunately accountability is a low value in the culture I live in. More likely we value a false sense of peace, maintaining the status quo and power structures, and southern charm. Which means when trouble arrises (e.g. offensive behavior, unethical treatment of others, subtle isms) we are more likely to look the other way, laugh uncomfortably, or swallow and move on. What we have failed to recognize is that bad behavior is like cancer. Without treatment, it poisons the wh

I have witnessed many humans traversing through life with a solid dead stare. The hurts, habits, and hangups have all become too much, so they've numbed and settled into the routine swell of solemn slavery. Whatever it is, they feel like they have to keep going. I don't want to disrespect this type of stability. It is certainly valuable to trudge through what must be endured. But let's be clear that there is another way to live. The other path perhaps feels sadder, because i

This question is wildly so much harder than it seems. Many clients come into the counseling office because something is off in their life. They're unhappy, they're frustrated, they're overwhelmed. But when I ask them what they hoping to get out of the experience, sometimes it's very hard for them to tell me. What do you want? Being disgruntled is a great place to start. Knowing what you don't want is better than knowing nothing at all. But the harder question will always b

America loves to overwork. America praises those who worship the grind, pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, and never settle for good enough. I see it every day on billboards, watch it on social media, hear it from talking heads, and feel it in cultural undertones. Sometimes we do it because we want to. Sometimes we do it because we think we have to. I get ahead by my own two hands. I can't stop or else I'll fall behind. If I don't keep working, what will I have? And

If you haven't noticed lately, my blogs have been less consistent. It's not that I'm more busy now or that it has stopped being an...

Being able to operate one-hundred percent freely is a privledge of only well-cared for children. When your parents have done a good job...

Walking with a lot of clients through dating, I have watched an interesting transformation happen. Clients longing to connect often first...

Many of us make it into adult life not exactly ready for adult life. Whether you left home at 18 or are still living under your parents'...

What does it mean to grow up? Oftentimes clients in my office come to a realization that they are relating to the world as helpless...

In my work with humans and their relationships, I often find that so many of us long for connection and intimacy with one another, but...

Did you have to come to this party or did you get to? Did you have to work today or did you get to? Do you have to follow those rules or...

Watching a clip from the Huberman Lab yesterday inspired me to write a letter to myself five years from now. It was so powerful! Being...

When I used to coach swimming, I learned there were two types of incredible athletes. The first was the hard worker. These humans showed...

One of the hardest things I've had to do lately is to sit with myself. Amidst sadness, loneliness, frustration, and disappointment, where...

One of the trickiest elements of depression is the tendancy to start to believe that we have nothing to give. Depression causes us to...

Last week I spent traveling, which is something I don't do often. My love of my home and my hatred of having to sit still for too long...

Humans are story telling creatures. We understand through story. Stories hold our attention. We tell ourselves stories all the time about...

It's been a long time since I've seen Superman, but from what I remember he's an incredible dude with incredible superpowers except when...

When I was in college, I decided to shave my head. I had always wondered what it felt like to actually be able to rub my own skull...

If you've ever lifted weights, you know that every few weeks you find what's called your "max." To find your max, you warm up and then...