Accountability: Cutting out the Cancer

Unfortunately accountability is a low value in the culture I live in. More likely we value a false sense of peace, maintaining the status quo and power structures, and southern charm. Which means when trouble arrises (e.g. offensive behavior, unethical treatment of others, subtle isms) we are more likely to look the other way, laugh uncomfortably, or swallow and move on.

What we have failed to recognize is that bad behavior is like cancer. Without treatment, it poisons the whole system.

I am not preaching this from a pulpit of judgement, but rather from my knees in confession. As much as I love a good debate, confronting a staunch system of power is terrifying. Interrupting a conversation or even just saying, "Hey now, wait just a minute" makes me shudder a little. It is very hard for me to put myself in a position to challenge, when my audience is far from interested in my conflicting opinion.

Sitting in my office, clients come in ready for pruning. They want help. They are soft and open and curious about how life could be better. Out in the world, most people are on a hard path to what they feel is success. Interrupting that agenda is typically not welcome and most don't respond to it kindly.

But what if we started seeing the world around us as our responsibility? What if every time we saw the cancer, we at least said, "That's cancer," and not just under our breath to our friends or in a vague Facebook post? What if we started saying it directly to those who are practicing it. Sometimes we may have very little to back up our concerns, meaning there may be little we can do stop people from behaving the way they do. But sometimes just saying, "That's cancer," is enough to slow the system, just one tiny bit from continuing to grow.

And then there's the territory of the self. Sometimes my own behavior is so icky and feels so unloveable that I dare not be honest with myself about the cancer. I just pretend I'm not like that. Insist I'm not like that. I tell myself a story where I am the victim and all my bad choices were inevitable.

Lately I have been deeply challenged to say the hard things earlier. Before they are full blown stage 4. I am looking at all parts of my life to see what I have ignored and looked past when I should have said, "That's cancer." I want to be more of my authentic self, not just the self I wish I was, which means admitting where the cancer lies and acknowledging what needs to happen before it grows.

What about you? What parts of yourself do you have trouble admitting are there? What do you wish were true about you but just isn't? And where have you ducked your head and avoided when what was really needed was for you to call out the cancer? If we belong to ourselves, if the community is our responsibility, now is the time to call it out. That's cancer.