Tetris Brain

If you haven't noticed lately, my blogs have been less consistent. It's not that I'm more busy now or that it has stopped being an important writing exercise for me. It's that I'm at a place emotionally and psychologically that requires more flexibility than I typically enjoy working with. This blog is way down the line of priorities and not essential.

My life has been in transition for quite a while. I've felt a lot of pressure internally to sort through trouble and new tasks coming down the pipe, a bit like a game of Tetris I'm losing. As I think back, I've gone through similar phases when moving, having kids, and changing careers. As the blocks were coming faster and faster, my brain frantically tried to assimilate new information and sort them into an orderly way of life. I was just barely keeping my head above water.

Then something happened. The blocks started to slow down just enough for me to visualize a new normal that actually looked calm and peaceful. "Settled" was on the horizon, even though it hadn't materialized. Just visualizing it I could breathe again. That's when I let the pressure off. I am doing the necessary tasks to get there. Not in a perfectly prescribed order, but rather as I can do them. I look around and pick up the pieces that I know for sure where they go and stick them into the puzzle. They fit and another layer of pressure comes off.

Some of the pieces (like writing a weekly blog), used to fit perfectly in the old structure. I had self-imposed parameters around when and how I would get it done. I thrive on a regular routine. But when the whole thing shifted, forcing those old pieces into their former spots caused more stress than relief, rubbing me the wrong way and adding pressure when I didn't need it. So I've been dropping them. I'm sure I will find new spots for them once the new structure is built, but for now, they are not getting priority over things like sleep, connecting with my kids, and getting my home in order.

To all those re-orienting your life for one phase or another, I salute you. May you find the grace within yourself to let off the pressure. Taking it one day at a time, stick the pieces in where you know they belong and let the others find their places as you can. May your Tetris brain relax as you get a few layers just right.

Unsplash Alexandre Boucey