Whoops, Try Again
Who wants to do better with male/female relationships? I do! As we navigate the new world in conservative culture where men and women are no longer afraid of each other we are trying many new tactics.
The hope is that...
men will trust women not to use their feminine whiles to manipulate them
women will trust men not to cop a feel with every impulse of their body
men will trust themselves not to fall into a sexual trap of lust if they look directly into a woman's eyes
women will trust themselves not to get out of control just by owning their bodies and existing in them
That's a lot of hopes. This is a tall order.
One thing that will help us all is to start giving each other more direct feedback on how we're each feeling. If I'm uncomfortable I need to say it. If you're uncomfortable, I want to hear it. If I've overstepped I may not even know unless you tell me. If you've overstepped, I'd hate for you to go on hurting me if I never even give you a chance to repair.
We need to start saying out loud, "This isn't working for me." "Can we please do ______________, instead?" "I'd feel more comfortable if…" Say it. Let's do better.
Unsplash: Susan Wilkinsin