Same AND Different

If you've been reading my posts lately you may be recognizing that not just people, but also entire cultures are sometimes emotionally immature. Cultures that hyper-focus on differences, cultures that are emotionally reactive, cultures that start wars when they could be negotiating---all of these are emotionally immature responses. These same cultures are often tribal in nature. They are defensive about their beliefs and fairly simplistic in their demands for conformity (because that's what helps them feel safe).

The underlying belief in those immature cultures is that somebody has to be wrong, and it's not us. Immature cultures, like children and teenagers, are often driven by fear and shame. Because they're not yet fully competent nor securely established, they scrappily behave hyper-independently, trying to prove that they can be. They're faking it till they make it (but not fooling anybody but themselves).

Mature cultures on the other hand are able to recognize that while they have some unique differences as people groups, they also share common humanity. They recognize a shared planet and abundant resources and can steward them well when they work together. They find commonalities with others who seem very different. They allow each other space and get curious about those unique differences. They're able to ask questions humbly, like, "Why do you choose that?" and "What is that like for you?"

You might even apply this construct to the culture in your family of origin. Which level of maturity do they respond with? Are they driven by fear and shame or a sense of common love and respect? Once you've considered your family, consider how that might be affecting you. And what sort of culture do you want to help build?