Living in a culture that doesn't handle grief very well can be very invalidating. Most of us have experiences from time to time that really hurt. If you're being asked to shine up your narrative, find the silver lining, or deliver the hope you've found, you may feel like a crazy person alone in a sea gloom.
We really are not very good at being with each other in pain. We want the solution, the moral to the story, the pretty "truth" of the moment when all we are experiencing is ugly brokenness.
Many people don't believe they can survive the ugly brokenness, which is a tricky belief because it's almost true. They run from it, look away, or pretend it doesn't exist in their world. What they fail to realize is the hidden strength of togetherness. But often coming together in pain is the very thing we are avoiding the most. Because it hurts. When we are the one in pain, we need the love and support and companionship of others. We need to know we are not alone. We need someone to be with us and hold our pain when individually it would be too much to bear.
Together we survive. Alone we do not.
If you are on the outside, not the one in the current pain, you have a gift, a line to the shore, a resource that your hurting friend does not. She doesn't need you to holler at her to snap out of it. She doesn't need you to wish her the best or talk her out of the depths. She doesn't need you to religify the experience into some greater meaning.
She just needs you to be with her.
Find someone today who needs your companionship. Look them in the eye and show them you are there. Find the pain and join them in it. Don't ask them to give you a happier answer, just be with them.
Comentarios