Fear of Vulnerability

What are you afraid of?

"I'm not afraid of anything," is what you are supposed to say. There's pressure in a fast moving world of bravado to pretend nothing bothers you. But in reality, most of us are very afraid of a lot of things. Though we may not say it we act it out. So again, I ask you,

What are you afraid of?

Even if you can't be honest with me, can you be honest with yourself? Look at your behavior. What do you avoid? What do you daydream about losing? What do you run from, block out, or numb?

Here are some common things clients confess they are afraid of...

1. Failure

2. Looking dumb

3. Rejection

4. Being alone

5. Being a burden or "too much"

6. Not being enough

7. Vulnerability

The last one, vulnerability, is probably the fear that causes the most damage. While it's a very rational fear (because the world is mean and humans are weak), when people fear being vulnerable, they miss any chance at deep connection and remain isolated.

Fear of vulnerability causes people to...

• Avoid saying how they really feel

• Display anger instead of softer emotions like hurt or disappointment

• Ghost instead of saying goodbye

• Avoid initiating

• Act like robots (non-emotional, only "rational")

• Refuse to apologize

• Over-plan and over-explain (to get it "exactly" right)

• Lie to themselves

If you're feeling brave today, ready to face your fear and take a step toward potential connection, I dare you to try the opposite of any of the above. You are worth it. You are loveable. You can do it.

Unsplash Nguyễn Hoang