Shoot me Straight

One of the privileges of my job is the deep transparency many clients share with me. They often walk in ready to share so I have to be ready to catch whatever they hand me. Having been a therapist for almost twenty years now, few things surprise me anymore. It's an honor to be allowed into those "secrets" in people's lives in my office.

An even bigger honor is when my friends will share with me at that vulnerable level. I've learned the hard way that humans feel most safe when I lay down my cards first. As long as I was self-protective, hidden behind my high performance in life, I generally felt unknown. But the moments I've shared my failures and hurts with others, my friends have reciprocated with compassion and a few of their own woes. Sometimes it's to commiserate, sometimes it's to validate my pain.

I still enjoy friendships that are more guarded, but I know we have the potential to be deeply connected when you let me see your soft underbelly. When you risk yourself by telling me the whole story, I take my place in your life very seriously. Our stories are precious. They deserve to be treasured and protected.

If we can't share our stories, are we really even known?

Being transparent with one another is a big risk. We risk rejection, judgement, and abandonment. We risk conflict and having to navigate hurt feelings. But telling the whole truth is also one of the most powerful ways to allow yourself to be seen. You won't know how loved you are until you give someone the chance to try.

Unsplash Rita Seneca