These are the things I say to myself sometimes:
"I don't have a voice."
"No one hears me."
"I'm an idiot."
"I can't do this [hard thing]."
"They don't care."
"I'll never recover."
They're mantras. And for a long time I played the victim to them. I would say them. Agree with them. Believe them. I was a much more active participant than most victims.
I have different mantras that I use when I'm paying attention:
"I didn't use my voice, but I can."
"They didn't hear me, but someone does."
"That was an idiot move, but I can do better."
"I haven't done this [hard thing], but I can and I will."
"They might not care, but someone does."
"I haven't yet recovered, but I will."
What are your mantras?