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Brandi K Harris, MS, LPC & LMFT

Maintenance + Flirting

When I was a kid, flirting was SO FUN. It was kidding around; a risk-free jovial exchange. It cost me nothing but playful energy. All that witty banter was like a fishing game. Who could I catch? Who could I get to smile? Who could I make feel special?


As I got older flirting became more dangerous… I could hurt someone by leading them on. I could get hurt by attention I didn't want. I could offend the one I was actually committed to. And then when I found someone I wanted to marry, I didn't need to go fishing anymore.


But sometimes I forget how good it was for us to flirt. When we were getting to know each other, my husband and I would tease in a fun way (not the passive aggressive, I'm-actually-trying-to-secretly-stab-you kind of way), mess with each other, joke around, and send inviting messages with our eyes, our words, and our bodies.


The truth is, my marriage still needs flirting. No longer are we trying to catch each other, but we are trying to catch each other's attention. If we want to hang on to the light, beautiful, fun parts of engaging with each other, especially when life has gotten real, we have to keep flirting.

Unsplash photo: Nison CO PR and SEO

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