Americans tend to have a pretty romantic view of marriage. We don't just want a horse to hitch our wagon to, a housing agreement and a joint retirement plan… We want it ALL: someone who will whisk us off our feet, carry the weight of the mortgage, help us produce babies, AND still provide us with hot sex for a good fifty years. It's a steep order.
That kind of fairy tale marriage isn't reality for most people, but gosh darn it, we want to try. Most of us start with the hot sex stuff and graduate to a mundane plodding of married work mules. Get up. Make breakfast. Get to work. Come home. Watch a show. Go to bed.
I am not quite the naive romantic I once was, but I do believe we can do better. Yes, the plodding is necessary and important. Going through the routines that make our lives calm and dependable are essential for long term health. But we ALSO have to practice the regular disciplines of pursuing each other! Making time and effort to feel alive ourselves and then to woo our spouses brings joy to otherwise somewhat boring life.
Stay tuned over the next few weeks to catch some helpful maintenance tips.
Unsplash photo: Stephen Hui