Every moment of connection presents with two options: the self-protective stance or the open, inviting stance. Which path you choose determines your depth of connection. Self-Protective People who choose self-protection are professionals. They are guarded (sometimes by a smile). They keep their cards close and operate almost robotically in a way to prevent others from knowing them. Sometimes this is a ruse--they look open and inviting, friendly and warm, but this only is only

As a family therapist, relationships are high on the list of topics my clients want to work through. Often they are in conflict with a person whom they love dearly and want to be close to. Unfortunately they are often trying to navigate this connection amidst of history of harm and offense. They want reconciliation, but can't find a way forward through residual pain. Reconciliation means "coming back together," implying that a connection that was once felt is currently broken

There is a regular complaint from some partners that if they could just have more sex in their relationship that life would be better. I've even heard of pastors and other therapists recommending this to their parishioners and clients. But "more sex" is a risky prescription at best and an overly simplistic solution to a deeper, more complex problem. Of course there are couples who have accidentally drifted away from prioritizing special time together, but most couples who fee

Today I registered to vote for the fist time in twenty years. I'm forty-seven. I have felt completely disenchanted with our political system for a very long time. You can't convince me that it is efficient, effective, or honest. See more on why I quit here. The polarization of politics is disgusting to me and wildly deceptive. We're almost always fighting about the wrong thing, not even hearing each other. I didn't want to be a part of the problem. But I do want to be a part

How do I reinvigorate my deepest heart and passion for life? Reading Julie Cameron's book The Artist's Way (which is not explicitly Christian, but supports Christian values), I saw some perfect parallels to spiritual disciplines I already practice. One being authentic, open, honest prayer with my Creator in the mode of regular trash journalling. The second being a form of Sabbath. Ms. Cameron calls her practice "The Artist Date." She suggests you take yourself out once a week