There are two things that define the effects of trauma: A lack of consent Insufficient support Therefore, healing requires: The opportunity to consent Sufficient support Consent As a kid, one of the most motivating factors for me was remaining in control of myself. I couldn't have named this then, but if I felt forced to do something, I was not going to do it. It didn't matter if the opportunity was going to Disney World or raiding a candy shop. If you were going to try to ma

"God never gives us more than we can handle." "The devil comes against us when we're doing the right thing." "You just need to pray more, read your bible more, and have more faith." Living in a conservative culture, I often hear clients describe experiences where well-meaning pastors and friends have given them simple adages In the midst of their distress. Unfortunately these platitudes can be incredibly painful and damaging both to the relationship and the emotional state. T

Disagreeing with you does not make a person toxic. Having a bad day does not make a person toxic. Being ignorant does not make a person toxic. Destroying others' lives is what makes you a toxic person. Toxic is the word we use to describe any environment that is more destructive than productive. You also might consider those environments poisonous or harmful. People and relationships can both be toxic. A person who is regularly harmful to others is toxic. A relationship can b

I have been loving the attention on the World Cup lately: all the enthusiastic fans, the cross-cultural support, the celebration antics. Anything that reminds us that the whole world is full of relatable humans, rather than objects to control or enemies to battle helps us all relax a little. There's so much goodwill going on. Not that I love the ticket prices for the World Cup. In fact, I'm confused as to who is actually able to purchase them. It's surely not the down and out

There's a fascinating statement the queer community directs toward the homophobic community. It challenges semantics and potentially exposes an ugly form of manipulation. It also applies to one of the most common experiences I work through with couples in my office. "Love is love." But is it? The very definition of the word needs to be clarified. Differentiation Between Intention and Impact Couples often come into my therapy office wildly upset and hurt by one another, when