Romance Isn't That Difficult
- Brandi K Harris, MS, LPC & LMFT
- Feb 6, 2023
- 1 min read
Sometimes when I talk about romance, I can hear the groans and see the eye rolls before the words are even out of my mouth. A lot of people think that romance is an impossible target or requires us to put on an inauthentic show. But as a professional counselor, I'm here to tell you it's really not that bad and definitely not impossible; it just requires intentionality.
Romance is not defined by candles and roses. Those things sometimes hit the spot, but romance is more about having good character and choosing intentional vulnerability. It means thinking about your love-interest's desires and then doing what works for them, though it may be a bit uncomfortable (vulnerable) for you. Here are a few things I've heard people say that work for them (and often better than candles and roses):
When a partner keeps a steady job or contributes equally.
When someone I'm attracted to is actually NICE to me.
When a partner touches me in a gentle, consented way.
When I watch my partner work with their hands.
When my partner listens to me carefully.
When I wear cute underwear that I look good in.
That's right! Sometimes feeling romantic comes from the inside as well! Taking good care of yourself and encouraging your partner to do the same is a great way for you both to set the stage for romance.
Start thinking now, as Valentine's is approaching, about ways you could show up and care romantically for the one you love.

Unsplash: Tom Ramain



That romance is more about intentional actions and thoughtful gestures than grand displays. Small, consistent efforts, such as being attentive, gentle, and supportive, can strengthen connections and create genuine intimacy. In a similar way, investing in the right tools for your projects matters just as much as the big picture having a reliable anchor bolts set for sale ensures that structures remain secure and stable, giving peace of mind while you focus on the finer details of building or crafting.
Romance often gets overcomplicated, but the article does a great job showing that small, thoughtful gestures matter more than grand displays. Paying attention, being kind, and sharing vulnerability build real connection. It reminds me that personal expression and comfort also play a role whether it’s wearing something that makes you feel confident or quirky, like a favorite Swamp Monster t shirt, or simply enjoying time together. Little choices that reflect personality and care can create intimacy in ways candles and roses never could.
I completely agree with this perspective. Romance isn't something overly grand; it comes from "intentionality" and daily effort to nurture it. Building a relationship is just like how I focus on creating a great song in Sprunki Game, it requires patience and creativity.
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