Last week I posted a series of options for choosing a more vulnerable life. Living humble and open puts us at risk for rejection, but also makes it possible for us to connect deeply with others. But there is one highly valuable option I forgot to mention: telling the truth.
Telling the truth may be the most countercultural ideal yet. With so much of our communication online, with tremendous amounts of editing available aided by AI and beauty filters, almost nothing comes across original and fully authentic. With a screen between you and the world, it's easy to lie.
Even in person we are encouraged to put our best foot forward and tell a version that paints us in the best light. We limit what we share to the good things about ourselves. We conveniently leave out information that might have others questioning our character or abilities. We celebrate wins and shove failures under the rug. We tell half-truths that distract from missing information. I have yet to read a newsletter or a quarterly report that states clearly and frankly the ways an organization is falling behind. It's easy to hide.
It's also worth mentioning that if you can't tell yourself the truth, you definitely aren't going to be able to tell others the truth. Shame and pain often encourage us to shy away from even looking at our own dirty face in the mirror.
While it's easy to lie and hide, it can be difficult is to speak directly and transparently. All types of vulnerability put us at risk of rejection, but laying our whole heart in the hands of another is perhaps the most daring risk of all. Once it's all out there (good and bad) we allow the other person to decide whether they will accept us as we are or if they're going to walk away. Once it's out there, you can't take it back.
But the monumentous benefit of your daring risk comes when someone decides to go all-in with you. When they not only decide to love all of you, but also decide to reciprocate with their own full heart (beautiful and ugly). Then begins the dance of true intimacy.
If you want to live whole-heartedly, deeply connected, start with gracefully telling yourself the truth, then step out into the light and let others see you, all of you, and nothing but you.

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