I hear some parents say, "I know I should be more graceful with my kids." And I mean, yeah, kids don't usually respond well to raging monsters. But on the other hand… what about the injustice of kids who aren't listening, don't respect the rules or others they live with, and refuse to get off their butts to do the things society is asking of them, namely, picking up their dang shoes. There really is something not right about that and it feels kind of lame to say for the forty-second time, "Come here, sweet honey baby. You've forgotten your lovely clod-stompers in the hallway floor again."
It feels lame because it is. The effectiveness of grace is dependent upon repentance. When the kid really DOES. NOT. GIVE. A. RIP. about how she's affecting the world around her, there's a legit problem that doesn't just need gentleness in that moment. What she needs is to realize she's not the center of the godforsaken world. And until she wakes up to the community paradigm, the only helpful "grace" is your more accurate tenacity to show her the error of her ways.
You can leave your A-hole attitude at the door, but it is time to help her face the music by stopping what you're doing, stopping what she's doing, stopping with the ongoing circus in your house and addressing the problem with your eyes, your hands, and your heart. Her continued self-centeredness is as much your problem as it is hers. Let her see where you're at. Let her see what you mean. Let her see how she affects you by getting down on her level and sticking with her till she comes back to earth, where life goes better when we share time and space and air with others.
Unsplash photo cred: Tasos Mansour