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Brandi K Harris, MS, LPC & LMFT

People Show You What They Really Value

You know how you say you've always wanted to backpack across Europe, but you never have? You know how you say you really want to be more healthy, but you're not exercising more and you keep eating the same stuff you always have? You know how you need to set better boundaries with work, but you don't? What's that about?


I'd like to say it's because I just haven't gotten around to it yet. Or I'm trying, but just haven't succeeded yet. But the truth is, people don't change until the cost of staying the same grows larger than the cost of changing. Which means, to a degree, we're exactly who we really want to be. We value the things we're doing MORE than the things we want to do.


I actually don't really want to put the time and energy into saving for and then planning a trip across Europe. I like the IDEA of being healthier, but spending 25 hours a week on a treadmill… nope. I know better boundaries with work would give me more time with my family, but gosh, I really like that paycheck and the praises I get for getting so much done.


If you're scratching your head trying to figure out why someone is not becoming who they say they want to become, look a little closer—what's their benefit for staying the same?

Unsplash Photo cred: Ibrahim Fareed

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