This week I had a minor procedure done that required me to go under the knife. Now, the outside of my body looks fine, but the inside is aching. So many of my friends have asked me what I need and what they can do to help. They are paying attention to me and taking care of me in ways that are really hard to ask for. I'm finding myself close to tears many times a day, not because of the pain, but because of the kindness. I love that they believe me that it hurts.
It's making me think about how many times my heart is hurting or my mind is confused and it's so hard to even explain what's happening on the inside—all while the outside of me looks fine. The pain feels so illigitimate.
What do I need during those times? I need someone to compassionately notice even the things I feel shame to acknowledge. That I'm weak. That I need support. That even the presence of a friend is a great gift, as I can't go to them, nor do I have anything to give.