In order to develop, we have to feel safe. Once we feel safe, we can try freely, unafraid to fail (becuase we will fail). Recovering from failure is how we learn. Without safety, we can't fail. Without safety, we can't be honest about our failures. Without safety, we can't humbly acknowledge our failures. Therefore the precursers to health are safety and vulnerability. Interestingly, those are also precursors to intimacy. Safety is one of the primary concerns in the counselin

When I turned eighteen I had little interest in voting. My parents weren't particularly political, though I did know whom they voted for (for president). The whole process seemed uninteresting and inconsequential. History and political teachers in high school had been boring and dispassionate. Fascinatingly (and in retrospect, shamefully), I gradated from a public school without any real knowledge of the political process. In college I met a boy everyone called "Senator". He

The We Are The World campaign worked on me as a kindergartener. I listened to that Michael Jackson song, learned how to reduce-reuse-recycle and put the eyes of shame on anyone who littered. We are the world We are the children We are the ones to make a brighter day, so let's start giving. I have taken my job to steward the earth seriously. I recently paid Office Depot $8.23 just to give back a ten-year-old phone, in the hopes that it would be taken apart responsibly, rather

Last week I went on vacation with four women I didn't know. I piggy-backed on the already-planned trip, invited by a good friend whom I trust. All six of us are therapists, which set the tone for emotional safety, calmness, real-world discussions, and don't-take-yourself-too-seriously humor. I was so thankful for the new friendships with other professionals I quickly learned to respect. They would offhandedly ask some deep question about our personal lives, then turn around a

Intimacy is the experience of knowing and being deeply known. I can't talk about this without also talking about my experience with the Creator. As a baby initially has no concept of self until it is related to by a parent, neither have I been able to really know myself until I was met eye-to-eye by my Creator. Once I felt seen and loved as I was, I began to understand my value. Once that happened, I started to recognize the value of others. None of that could have happened o