What you say to yourself matters. You probably hear your own voice in your own head more than anyone else's in the world. If it's negative, shaming, or hateful, you're essentially abusing yourself all day long, every day.
On the other hand, if you make a conscious choice to be kind, graceful, and gentle, there's a good chance you'll heal and find a good life. One of my favorite quotes from the bible is in Paul's letter to the Philippians:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
There's such power in focusing the mind on those things! Not only can we be positive, but we can also center our lives around the things that are most important to us. I personally have little mantras I repeat to myself to keep myself on the right track. Here's a sampling:
1. What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful. —Brene Brown
I have a tendency to hide behind a high performing image. Remembering this helps me connect with others by allowing my imperfections to be seen.
2. You have a good life.
I want to be a grateful, joyful person. This reminder sets my sights on all the things I do have.
3. His (God's) power is made perfect in weakness. —Paul's second letter to the Corinthians
Similar to #1, I need to be regularly reminded that weakness is a good part of my design. It's ok for me to not have it all together. God does great things in my insufficiency.
4. ______(anything and everything)_______ belongs to God.
Sometimes I actually move through my day saying this out loud, "These shoes belong to God. This bed belongs to God. This car belongs to God." It keeps my perspective on Who I belong to, Who I work for, and Who I intend to glorify with my life. My use of it all is merely on loan.
5. You're not that big a deal.
On a bad day everyone's self-value tends to go one of two directions: into the clouds or into the trash. This one helps me remember that I do not run the world nor can I ruin it.
6. Does it own you?
Just a small reminder to check the major things I'm involved in. I don't want to submit to any master since I've been set free. My phone? My business? My home? If the answer to this question is yes, I need to adjust.
I hope these are helpful to you. If you'd like to reorient, spend a few minutes today coming up with one or two of your own.
PIC: The last blooms of the season before the freeze.